“When we play a game, we tackle tough challenges with more creativity, more determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely to reach out to others for help.”
Jane McGonigal

Jane McGonical, a game designer, suffered from a concussion. It did not heal properly so she had symptoms of headaches, vertigo and mental fog. In order to heal she could not read, write, play video games, run, have alcohol or caffeine. In her words, “I had no reason to live.” She fell into a depression. On day thirty-four, she said, “I am either going to kill myself, or I’m going to turn this into a game.” So she made a game out of her struggles.

She adapted a secret identity. She had bad guys, things that kept her from getting better. She had power ups, things that made her happy. And she had allies, people who helped her as she played the game. She almost immediately started feeling better. In in less than a month her depressive fog had lifted. She still had a year long journey in front of her to recover from her concussion but the game play seemingly made it bearable for her.

She shared her experiences on her blog and people all around the world started playing her game. Some people played it for simple, mundane things, others faced terminal illnesses. The common theme she soon discovered is people felt better about their battles. They could better handle the challenges they faced.

Jane felt intrigued and did some further research. She found something similar to the all to familiar Post Traumatic Stress, but opposite, Post Traumatic Growth, PTG. People experiencing PTG, came through their trauma, even stronger than before. They all had common outcomes:

  • Their priorities had changed, They were not afraid to do what made them happy.
  • They felt closer to their friends and family.
  • They understood themselves better; they knew who they really were.
  • They had a sense of meaning and purpose.
  • They were better able to focus on their goals and dreams.

But how did PTG relate to her game? Jane did further research. She found 4 strengths or resiliences that contributed to the growth found in PTG:

  1. Physical resilience– Your body can handle more stress and heal itself faster.
  2. Mental resilience– You have more mental focus more discipline, determination, and will power.
  3. Emotion resilience You have the power to invoke powerful positive emotions like curiosity and love when you need them most.
  4. Social resilience– You get more strength from your friends, neighbors, family and community.

Her game just happened to use scientifically validated exercises that worked on building these four strengths. The game helped to build these four strengths and were helping people experience the positive aspects of PTG.

Even better, a person does not have to be recovering from a trauma to receive benefits from these exercises and in the process gain resiliences. Anyone cam benefit.

So, my question to you, do you want a better life? Not only that but a SuperBetter life? I challenge you to go to and start playing today. This game is easy to play and not a time sink. If you want the benefits of PTG without the trauma, head there know.

This is a link to the Ted video that inspired this post.

You is Kind…

“You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important.”

These kind words are spoken to Mae Mobley by Aibileen Clark in the movie The Help. Aibileen, using these words, always made it a point to remind Mae of the value of the young child.

Too often, people loose sight of simple things, me included. And when we do, life tends to go off the rails; it becomes a train wreck. And in the train wreck, with carnage everywhere it is easy to forget, You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important. It is only when these simple lemmas can be brought back to focus that life begins a return to normalcy.

So, as a reminder to myself, always remember, You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important.

Stephen Magladry, your iTechieGuy

Facing Grief, Unflinchingly.

What is a good metaphor, or simile, for grief?

Grief is powerful and inevitable. It occurs to all of us. It can be disabling.  It can feel like a tsunami – an unimaginably powerful force overtaking and smothering every other aspect of… reality.  Grief can feel like a magnet – one occurrence of grief becoming a magnet for every other possible grief response we might have imagined, but never did, and so when a knife-like grief experience occurs, suddenly…. other grief responses are invited into spaces that existed before… but now those spaces also have the added burden of grief.

So what are good similes or metaphors for grief, I ask my writing community? Please! I want to know! Comment on this post, or create a post of your own that links to your personal website. Please.  Similes and metaphors are powerful tools in writers’ toolboxes for dealing with…  and shaping… grief.  (And also other powerful life experiences.)

Many of us know the power, value, and utility of simile and metaphor.

Simile is saying something “is like” something else.

Metaphor is saying something IS (identity-like) something else. A bit more powerful and abstract than simile.

Similes AND metaphors have their place and their usefulness as we understand our human experience.

So what are the metaphors (or similes) for grief?

Grief is like the rogue wave, unexpectedly roaring in and covering, maybe obliterating, everything in its path. (That is a simile.)

Grief is a cranky bitch. (That is a metaphor – the “is,” construction, not the “is like” construction.) But this statement invites questions about the meaning of “cranky” and the meaning of “bitch.” I will not expend my own life force on explaining this metaphor at this time. But let me know in a comment if the metaphor intrigues you.

So I return to my original question: what is a good metaphor, or a good simile, for grief?  Because metaphors and similes allow us room, and space, and vocabulary, with which to deconstruct and understand life experiences that otherwise would be…. obliterating of our own lives, or of the meaning of our own lives.

We grieve all kinds of losses.

We grieve the loss of the heart-beating lives experienced by people we know and love, even when the ending of that life is a loss more to “us” than to the person who lived that life.

We grieve the loss of… jobs… marriages…. friendships… tomato plants that did not thrive in clay soil.

Like many people, I retreat from the nearly overwhelming, death-dealing, breath-squeezing, reality of authentic grief to the….. safer… less breath-squeezing level of… humor.

I feel, in this moment, when asking for a simile or metaphor for grief…. that I would like to know: “I do not know what I am talking about; do you know what I am talking about?”  (That statement/question is my idea of humor.)

My beloved and respected writing friends’ authentic wisdom about grief is invited. We all experience grief. May our collective and caring words about grief serve to increase compassion in the world. And thereby change the world and the future of humanity.

A story of our pets as teachers

A recent post by fellow-blogger Steve Kenagy brought back poignant, important, consoling, and peaceful memories.

One beloved cat (Ginger) simply stopped showing up. We never knew what her life was like after the day she did not show up for dinner. This cat (an independent-thinking, fun, challenging, and loving manx) had “shown up” in our lives, at the start uninvited, but Continue reading “A story of our pets as teachers” »

God Moment

Betty Munsell, the mother of Mary, my wife, passed away on May 22. We have experienced God moments since then. My favorite occurred at the Rosary.

The Rosary Service took about 30 minutes. A women sat behind and to the right of us for the entire service. After The Rosary, people took some time on personal reflections about Betty.

During that time, The women’s GPS sounded off, “You have arrived at your destination.” It reminded me of the oh so timely call out of Deborah’s cell phone during TwD, “Message received.” I thought about the perfect timing of the GPS. It had sat in her purse for over 30 minutes in udder silence. It seemed as if God waited for just the right time to let us know that Betty had arrived at her destination.

I commented on the perfect and timely call out from the GPS, “You have arrived at your destination.” as if it were meant to be. The women apologized profusely for her seeming faux pax. I let her know that it was not necessary, that had been a God Moment. God had meant it to be; otherwise, her GPS would have sounded off on her arrival at the church.

Here absence is felt by all those she touched. Below is a memorial I put together for her.

Stephen Magladry, your iTechieGuy

Limiting Logins on a WordPress Site

This post explores one easy way to hardened a WordPress site from possible exploitation.

In order to make changes to a WordPress site, a user must first be able to log into the site. Without the ability to login, no changes can be made to the site.

Why there is a vulnerability

Currently, out of the box, WordPress has no limitations on the number of password attempts allowed to login to a site. You may think, “big whoopee, who is going to take the time to type in all those different password attempts?”

Well, the answer is no one in their right mind would do that. Hackers/crackers are, fortunately, in the right mind. Unfortunately, not to be political or anything, they are in their far right mind.

If they are trying to get into your site, they are not going to type in a bunch of passwords and hope one matches, they are going to automate the process. They are going to run a program that will likely be able to try 10’s to 100’s of attempts a second. If they find a password that works, Bingo! they’re in. They can now make changes to your site.

Theory to beat this vulnerability

What if there would be a way to limit the number of attempts? After so many attempts from a certain computer, that computer would be locked out from making more attempts. This would foil automated attacks on your site.

From Theory to Practice-Limit Login Attempts Plugin

The WordPress Plugin, Limit Login Attempts,, will carry out such limitations. Limit Login Attempts does among the following:

  • Locks out an IP address after a set number of failures.
  • Keeps them locked out for a set period of time.
  • After 4 login failure cycles, that IP address is locked out for a longer set period of time.
  • Tracks the total number of login failures.
  • Make allowances for direct connections or from behind a reserve proxy. I discuss this further in the Settings section.
  • Will also block login attempts using cookies. I discuss this further in the Settings section.
  • In the login window, will notify the user the number of login attempts left.
  • Notify user if they have been locked out.
  • The option to log failed IP addresses and email for locked out Ip addresses.

A Look at Settings for Limit Login Attempts Plugin

This is setting screen for the Limit Login Attempts Plugin. Its can be found in Settings Tool in the Dashboard when logged in as an administrator. Here is what it looks like.


I am going to run down the different options and offer my suggestions.

Total Lockouts– This keeps a watch on the total number of lockout since the last refresh. Clear this at any time.


Allowed retries– This is the most important and least important field at the same time. As long as there is a value here, this site will no longer be easy to hack/crack. For that reason, automated attacks will stop. They will move onto easier targets. I would suggest a value less than five. I am a horrible keyboarder and still I can make my fingers crawl on the keyboard well enough to get my password by the third time. Additionally, on the first lock, the user will only be locked out for a short period of time.

Minutes Lockout– This is the length of time for a lockout if the allow retries are exceed for the first time. The default here is great enough to frustrate crackers but not great enough to frustrate a user in the rare cases where a they did not type in there password correctly.

___ lockouts increase lockout time to ____ hours– This is the teeth of the plugin. This is what will stop hackers/crackers. When a hacker/cracker is locked out for the long period of time, They know their automated attack is a waste of time. They will be off to easier targets. The default values here are good values.

Hours until retries are reset– Again, this field as little significance. It is the count of the lockout failures. In this example it is four. The important thing is a hacker/cracker isn’t going to try three times, wait x hours and try again. They will be long gone finding easier targets. I would make this as large as the hours lockout in the previous line.

Site Connection– If you do not know what a reverse proxy is, select the Direct connection radio button. If you know what a reverse proxy is and your site is behind a reverse proxy, select the From behind a Reserve Proxy radio button. This would be a relatively geeky setting.

Handle Cookie Logins– Many times, a user, who has recently visited their site, re-enters without needing to re-enter their password. This is because there is a cookie, a small bit of text on the users machine that is put there by the website. When the user returns, the website uses this cookie as a form of validation and the user can re-enter the site without a password.

Make sure to select the Yes Radio button here. Otherwise a hacker/cracker could automate the process of trying different cookies, hoping to get lucky. They have about a one in 4 billion chance. :^)

Notify on Lockout

Log IP-This will keep a log of failed login attempts. It is informational and not to important. I’m a geek, so I would have this on.

Email to admin after ____ lockouts– The default value of 4 is fine, here. Again, being a geek, I would want to have this option checked so I could snicker at people who tried to hack/crack my site.

If you made changes to any of the settings, don’t forget to click the Change Options Button. This will save the changes.

Finally, there is the Clear Log Button. Sometimes log files can get big and unwieldy. For this plugin, this would only be the case if you had thousands and thousands of failed attempts. Still it would be worth while to clear this log as part of a quarterly cleaning

In closing, out of the box, a WordPress site is open to the potential of automated attacks to try and figure out passwords on a WordPress site. The Limit Login Attempts Plugin will close down this vulnerability. Using this plugin, is one step a WordPress site admin can take to further harden their site.

Baseline Checkup for Integrity of your WordPress Site

It’s 11:45 AM. Do you know how many administrators are on your WordPress site?

Unfortunately, WordPress, at its base is a piece of software. Any piece of software has the potential for exploits. With WordPress exploits, nefarious people could be using your site to inflict evil on other people. A major case and point happened recently. The largest piece of malware to ever effect the Mac has happened in the last few months. This piece of malware got spread through WordPress sites that had been exploited.

If you ask me, exploits and keeping your site minimally exposed to hackers are the number one reasons to keep WordPress, Plugins, and Themes updated. Often these updated fix exploits. With these fixed exploits, this lowers the potential of a WordPress site getting hacked.

WordPress exploits are well known. Have any doubts? Check out this list. By not having the most up to date version of WordPress, a WordPress site is open to any exploit on this list targeted at that version of WordPress.

One of the most valuable hacks, at least as far as the bad guys are concerned, are exploits that allow them to add an administrative user. This exploit allows for a hackers to do just that thing. Notice, the version of WordPress effected by this exploit is 3.3.1, the second most recent version. Anyone not updated to the most recent version, 3.3.2 is potentially vulnerable to this exploit.

Step back and think about it a second. What would be the problem if someone unknown suddenly could administer another WordPress site, potentially yours? As an administrator, they could make what ever changes they wanted to the exploited site. They could add code, users, posts, comments, all at their free will. If they so desired they could even delete the exploited site! That wouldn’t buy them much, but it is a possibility. They would much rather have a site up and infected. Then they can continue to use the exploited site for whatever purpose they wanted.

Beyond the direct affect on the exploited site, there is an even larger potential problem, the site’s SEO. One thing web search engines do while crawling sites is look out for malware. I have and maybe you have too, clicked on a link in Google only to be warned that you are going to a site that may be infected with malware. That alone, would be a scary enough for potential customers.

Google’s search engine will also keep a watch on an infected site. The longer the infection lingers, the lower the rank the infected site will receive. Any ranking the infected site had built up with Google could soon be lost without a timely fix.

So, what can be done to protect a WordPress site? One of the easiest things that can be done is to keep a watch on the number of administrators on your site. If there are more administrators on your site than you expect, you could have been hit by an exploit. Thankfully, when logged on as an administrator, The User Panel will show the number of administrators. This panel shows three administrators; the expect amount, by the way.


If the Administrator count is larger than expected, click on the administrator link to show who the administrators are for the site. If the numbers of administrators are less than the count of administrators, that is a problem. There are obscure problems that can allow the count of administrators to not be reflected in the list. More likely than not, the rogue administrator has been hidden, A very easy thing to do. If you find yourself in this predicament, you will either (1) have to get your hands dirty with SQL or (2) find someone who will.

Unfortunately, WordPress sites are vulnerable to exploits. These exploits can be used to cause harm to people who unknowingly visit they exploited site and also damage the sites reputation. One basic way WordPress site owners can keep an eye on the integrity of their site, is to make sure there is not a sudden increase in the number of administrators. This is an obvious sign that a site has been hacked.

In closing,

It’s 1:45 PM. Do you know how many administrators are on your WordPress site?

Screenshots on the Mac

Ever want to take a screenshot on a Mac? You can. The functionality is a little bit hidden though the functionality is incredible. The Mac has three varieties of screenshots. A screen shot can be taken of the entire screen, a rectangular portion of the screen or any window on the screen. Let’s explore how to do each.

The Entire Screen

This first option takes a picture of the screen, the whole screen and nothing but the screen (to date myself while butchering a Dragnet reference). To take a picture of the entire screen, press the keyboard combination <command><shift>-3. At that time, two things happen: (1)You will hear a camera shutter sound. (2) A new file will be put on the desktop with a title of the form Screen Shot <Date> at <time>.png. For instance, the screen shot, Screen Shot 2012-04-19 at 8.06.49 AM.png, got taken at 8:06:49 AM on the nineteenth of April in 2012.

A Rectangular portion of the Screen

This option takes a screen shot of a rectangular portion of the screen. To take a picture of a portion of the screen, press the keyboard combination <command><shift>-4. The cursor will change to a cross hair:


At that point, click then drag out the area that you would like to capture. After dragging out the rectangular area, two things happen: (1)You will hear a camera shutter sound. (2) A new file will be put on the desktop of the rectangular area with a title of the form Screen Shot <Date> at <time>.png.

There are a couple of options available for this style screen shot. First, to center a screen capture, hold down the <option> key. The clip spot becomes the center of the rectangle and the captured rectangle will grow symmetrically around the click point.

The second option uses the <spacebar>. It is invoked after the click while doing the drag of the rectangle. It works as a constraint. Upon pressing the <spacebar> the constraint is determined by the next cursor movement. If the next movement is up or down, the width will be fixed. If the next movement is left or right, then the height will be fixed. Releasing the <spacebar> clears the constraint.

Any Window on the screen

This option will take a picture of a specific window on the screen. To take a picture of a specific window, press the keyboard combination <command><shift>-4, followed by pressing the spacebar. The cursor will turn into a camera:


As the cursor is moved around, the current targeted window will turn blue. Upon clicking two things will happen: (1)You will hear a camera shutter sound (2) A new file will be put on the desktop of the current window with a title of the form Screen Shot <Date> at <time>.png.

But Wait! If you act now!

Sometimes it is helpful to put the results of the screen capture on the clipboard instead of a external file. That is accomplished by adding the <control> key to the key combination. These key combinations take a bit of finger stretching. So to put the entire screen in the clipboard, press <command><control><shift>-3. To put a rectangular region or window onto the clipboard, start with press ing the keyboard combination <command><control><shift>-4.

Stephen Magladry, your iTechieGuy

Wotd (Word of the day)-Proprioceptive

Proprioceptive, the Free Dictionary defines it as, A sensory receptor, found chiefly in muscles, tendons, joints, and the inner ear, that detects the motion or position of the body or a limb by responding to stimuli arising within the organism.

Wikipedia states, from Latin proprius, meaning “one’s own” and perception, is the sense of the relative position of neighboring parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement.

Proprioception is the reason why we able the ability to put on finger on the back of our head or in our ear.

In our discussion we discussed how a drunk person had less proprioceptive abilities; they can not even put their finger to their nose.

Today, I discovered that not only is there a physical proprioception, but there is also a emotional proprioception. Let me explain.

Recently, I have been emotionally un-proprioceptive. I had become emotionally drunk, I couldn’t even find my nose on my own emotional face.

In our sharing, I put my finger on an event that I thought I had put behind me. It has become a dam, a barrier, a block to handling my emotional life on life’s terms. And life never stays compartmentalized. This event had become a dam, a barrier, a block to handling my life on life’s terms.

Now recognizing the situation, I immediately feel some relief. Furthermore, I can more completely deal with the problem and work to get it behind me. And through the process I hope, once again, to find my emotional nose. I have discovered the importance of  working toward maintaining my emotional proprioception.

Stephen Magladry, your iTechieGuy