For These Gifts, I Am Thankful

Raging storms
That shift minds
And open hearts
Snowflakes falling
Family texting
Simply saying
I’m safe, we’re fine
A lingering hug
A loving look
A soul shouting
A kindness
A touch

Drifting to sleep, unencumbered
Chasing fears back under the bed
Waking to whispers, uncharted
Wonder unfiltered, explorer of moments
Dreams forming, shaping futures
Grateful moments, amidst challenging times
Grasping, reaching, achieving, and growing 

In all ways, always growing

Joni Kovarik |

Mommy, Can We Just Sit Next To Each Other For A While ?

Sure, Honey I am happy to sit next to you, anytime.

Mommy, did you finish your emails?

Not yet, but I need a break.

Me, too.

You need a break from your emails?

Yes, I have work to do, too, you know.

You do? What kind of work do you need to do?

Pause. Silence. Pause. Furtive glance.

Mommy, you have no idea. But it is lots and lots and lots of things.

Okay. Well, I am here to support you. How can I help?

Pause. Silence.

Well, just sit here with me, that helps.

Okay. Happy to.

And, Mommy?

Yes, you could get me a treat. That would really help me.

Oh, it would, huh? And just what kind of treat do you think would help?

Pause. Furtive glance.

Well, I guess I have had enough sugar today. How about a hug? And then we can just sit next to each other for a while.

Pause. Furtive glance from me to him. Heart pounding. Love abounding.

No words. Just hugs.

Just hugs and sitting for a while.

Joni Kovarik | BizDev Consulting | Blog


There is a Holon of Love Goin’ on.

Originating quote:

“Loving is learning how to let go of what we think we know about ourselves, others and what’s happening. Love IS letting go

I would assert that Love is about letting go of identity and other distortions in the field between us and an other.

When we remove: relationship-toxic points of view, undigested bits of history, and false identity from the past we become present, spiritually dynamic life swimmers; love is revealed and available.

Love is an experience; it comes from the World of Being and as such it exists outside of time and space, and resists representational (talking about) descriptive language.

Admittedly and having just said that…

Love is the experience one has when all that is in the space between you and the other has been taken out (however temporarily) and the two (or more) individual/spirits see (grok) each other clearly, having successfully distinguished and disappeared the (illusory) distance between them, to form a third Meta Being, also known as a “Holon” (see Sex Ecology and Spirituality by Ken Wilbur) a Being that is greater than it’s individual parts.

Love is the experience of all participants constituting the Holon/Transcendent Being.

Prior to that moment of transcendent unification (however fleeting) much of what has been labeled “Love” in the past is much more about the individual not the relationship, more monolog than dialog, more about biology than spirit, more lust than love.

BTW the same Holon-istic mechanism can be experienced within other holons, for example, an orchestra, where a unity is generated among the musicians, the conductor and composer, and a series of moments of transcendence arises among them. (A good friend of mine once revealed to me that her first orgasm was as a violinist in an orchestra.)

The formula is the same: take out of the space between you and another what is not germane to relationship, what remains is an experience of love in relationship.



At Mid-marriage? Opportunity knocking!

You’ve been married for a while, you awake one morning, look over at the other side of the bed and begin to wonder, “Who is that?”

This is a pretty good indication that the two of you have reached “mid-marriage,” the curtain is ready to rise on the next act in your relationship.

If you were to take a marriage and family inventory you would notice that children are mostly grown and flown, the sacrifices you are making on behalf of family and career are growing less valid, and you are seeing renewed availability of time and money to spend on yourselves and on each other.

You have something else as well.

You have an extraordinary opportunity to recreate your marriage and lay a new foundation for the next stage of your relationship.

Mid-marriage is the ideal time to take a moment to:

  • Take a look back at who you have been for each other
  • Acknowledge your achievements
  • Hold a party to celebrate accomplishments
  • Close the book on the past and go on to
  • Lay a new foundation for the next decades of your lives (together or perhaps apart)

Relationship Literacy counseling will support you help you do all of this, and more.

What do you ant, who do you wish to be over the next 20 years of your life?



Whale Rain

Water and clouds

Water and cloud castles

I stood atop a high stone wall today, little stars-in-my-sky, looking out over the water and thinking of you. Rain pattered all around, plashing up from the courtyard, patting on my hood, and leaving tiny, icy kisses on my cheeks. There was magic in the air, and in my mind you shared it with me.

Wide water stretches away below our feet, brushed and prickled with the falling rain, the island’s beaches curving away to each side. Curtains of rain drape from the clouds nearby, glowing slightly with the sun that’s almost breaking through. Across the water, the dark trees glow softly in sunlight, misty and insubstantial in the rain, and above it all floats a perfect castle of clouds. White and gray and towering against a blue sky, full of promises of adventure, it shines out, reflecting on the gentle hammered-silver of the water. “Come,” it says, slowly sculpting into new, fantastic shapes. “Come and ride the wind with me.” White cloud bellies edged with gold push out and up, making sail for far-off Japan, ready to journey through sunset and sunrise and sunset again. What would we see? you wonder.

The water is calm, reflecting sky and clouds and sun in shades of silver, pewter, iron, slate, gold, and robin’s-egg blue. Ribbons of bright currents braid the surface, glowing veins of light now reflecting the cloud castle and bright sky, now the westering sun, now the gray rain clouds. And over everything, a breathless expectation. For somewhere before us, beneath the water, beneath the shushing rain that glows in the sun, beneath the castle of clouds, there are whales.

We stand close together, sharing our warmth, laughing at the raindrops when they splatter on your nose, watching, watching, for the magic of the whales. As the tide slips gently out, we watch it reveal scooped-out places where the whales have fed on the bottom, round as coins, shallow enough for Sabrina-Bee to splash in. So very, very close. One fat seagull waddles importantly up the beach, his silly orange feet in odd contrast to his formal gray and white feather tuxedo. Beyond him paces a blue heron, pompously striding through the water, pausing to tip his head to look into the ripples at his feet. Fast as lightning, he spears a tiny fish and flips it into his beak, and your eyes get wide. Ducks in exotic patterns of black and white quarrel with the seagulls over the emerging whale ponds. And just over our heads, one enthusiastic songbird pours a bright melody like a golden thread.

“Are they really out there, grandma?” you ask. “Oh yes, love. Right before us, under the silver rain. Gray as twilight and silent as clouds and big as imagination. Father whales, and young whales making their first journey back to California where they were born. And mother whales, heavy with new babies, journeying together to the warm waters where whale life begins. Can you feel the magic? Where the rain touches the water, can you feel the whale dreams rise up? Can you feel the silky cold water, taste the rich mud of the bottom, hear the far-off surf?”

“Yes,” you say. “Yes, it’s like flying! But it’s nearly night. Where will we sleep?”

“Right here,” I say. “You’ll float close to your mother and listen to her great heart beat, rocked on the rising and falling of the waves and tides. You’ll be comforted by the rough barnacles on her side and the sound of her breathing. You’ll dream dreams of sunlight on the waves, and deep green waters, and crabs and fishes and seagulls. For a day or a week you’ll play right here, raising a whale-baby rumpus and peeping above the water to delight the children on the shore, before moving on to new adventures.”

And so in the rain we stand, little stars-in-my-sky, four hearts together, waiting for magic. And if we never see the whales, we have magic enough. We have a rain-kissed evening, silver water, and a castle of clouds, with mystery swimming silently in the deep.

It’s enough to be here, and know they’re here too.

Mommy, Are You Awake?

I am not sure when and where I signed up for pre-dawn coaching sessions, but my thirty-eight inch tall, golden haired coach is very sure that now is the time.  I must find that document.  The birth certificate that doubles as a coaching contract.  I never did have time to read the fine print, or hold it up to a light bulb to see the secret code written in lemon juice.  It is bi-lateral, both of our names are on it.  I do not for the life of me remember the terms of our agreement.  Something to do with forever and ever.  My signature, his footprints.

Note to self:  Must read all Fine Print and Secret Codes written in lemon juice on future contracts with footprints on them.

more pre dawn coaching

A Year to Live. What Will Your Legacy Be?

DreamDearWhat if the Mayans are right and the world ends at the end of 2012? A sobering thought, but not unlike a doctor who diagnoses a patient with  cancer or some other fatal disease. I am not going down a long morbid path here. What I am really asking is this: If you knew you had a year to live, what would you do with it? Would you feel sorry for yourself or would you get the most that you possibly could out of the year?

Living Each Day

I am of a mind set that each day is a gift. I would like to think this would not change. What would change is that I would find a way to spend more time traveling. I would see all of the places I have wanted to go but made excuses as to why I couldn’t get there: Ireland, England, Italy, Alaska, Vermont, Boston, Washington DC, and Texas.

I would go to these places with the people I love.  What better way to connect than seeing the sites, unplugged, creating memories of a lifetime.


I would spend time doing the work I love, simply because I love it. Creating new pieces of art, making toys and creating books that kids love; great job don’t you think?

I saw John Lasseter on Charlie Rose the other night and he talked about the first time he saw one of the toys, from  Toy Story in a child’s hands at the airport. He said it was his biggest accomplishment. Made me cry.

I love the pictures that people send me of their children with my books and buddies. The smiles on their faces are the reason I love what I do. It is worth more than all of the money in the world.

Pie in the sky

Now this might all sound a bit Pollyanna, but this is who I strive to be. I believe we are all here for a reason; we all have a purpose. If it is within my power to live each day following my dreams or helping others follow theirs, then this is what I want to be doing –  whether I have one or fifty years more.”

So what would you do? What legacy would you leave?

As a new year begins and we have time to reflect, we can make changes small or big.

I am going into the New Year with one small change; every day I will do something that scares me just a little. At this time next year I will look at another small change and continue to grow into the me I want to be.”

May your New Year be filled with peace, joy, happiness, love, and prosperity!



How Do Two Hearts Find Each Other?

I don’t really know how two hearts find each other, but we can count on the fact they will and they do.

Is it mystery? Or magic?  Or is it fate?  Or is it divine?

Lives change when souls connect.  Maybe, just maybe it takes all of those things.

Someone told me once that he knew that his children found him. That they were out there in the universe, already connected to him. He just didn’t know it yet.

I love that. To think I was wondering and wandering around down here while my son waited for the perfect moment.

All I know is my heart beats for and with my son. I am so glad he found me

…amongst a million chances and a zillion stars.

Mommy, My Tummy Hurts Baby Jesus Keeps Kicking Me!

Let’s Rock and Talk, honey.  Time to rest for a while.  Time to calm down now.

Mommy, my tummy hurts.

I’m sorry honey. Let’s relax a minute instead of jumping around and see if that helps.  Jump up on the rocker with me.


Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Mommy? Why does Baby Jesus keep kicking my tummy?

Kicking your tummy, what do you mean honey?

He keeps kicking and kicking inside my heart and hurting my tummy, can you tell him to stop?

more baby jesus