Meowy Catsmas

The damn cats have been here for exactly a year. Oh, joy! And tomorrow is also the 1st anniversary of the release of my first kidney stones. Thank God that’s over.

My little Grinch didn’t want to put up a tree this year. She was concerned for her cats. I was concerned for the glass ornaments.

We managed to get our 5 foot, fake, pre-lit tree out of the box today. I usually set it on top of a small skirted table. An accident waiting to happen, right? My brilliant idea was to screw the base of the tree to the cheap table. That was a small project. (Never the right tool when you need it.)

Later, as we worked in the other room, the meowing turned to crying. “Go check on the cats, please,” I said. Moments later, she screams from the living room, “Dad. You have to see this!” The tree looked like a blind man trimmed it with a chainsaw. One cat was on the skirted table, at the base of the tree looking up at his brother. Oh, brother. The other one was tangled in the wires, hanging upside down from his haunches.

It took the two of us, one at each end, to push him backwards past the wire to freedom. He wasn’t grateful. He was still trying to hang on.

The tree stands sturdy, all lit, gathering gifts in its entire naked splendor. (Ornaments would be too risky this year.) A full, plastic, quart-size squirt bottle stands nearby to defend the tree from would be feline climbers.

Damn Cats and Meowy Catsmas.

ciao, Pete

Efficiency Expert







They Ate My Nuts!


This is the second in a series, which I’m sure will be epic, about my daughter’s damn cats. Actually there was one, up to this point, unrecorded incident which spurred the outcry, “DAMN CATS!” It was a small incident where they broke a favorite flower vase. But that was what started it all.

Snacking on peanuts and other tree nuts is one of my favorite things. I always check the label and get the lowest sodium ones. Often I buy a variety of nuts: almonds, hazelnuts, cashews, etc. and mix them myself.

Lately, I mixed a small batch of honey roasted peanuts and roasted hazelnuts. I munched a few handfuls after dinner and left the bowl on the kitchen counter. I left about a cup and a half in the bowl that night.

Next morning, the bowl of nuts was empty. I swear it was half full when I went to bed. I asked my daughter if the cats were in her room all night, as usual. She said, “Yes.” What the heck? I noticed three hazel nuts on the kitchen floor. What the heck? Am I NUTS?

I double checked. “Were the cats in your room all night?” “Yes”, she came back. “But, I did let them out early this morning.”


ciao, Pete

Damn CATS!!!

Last December, we got kidney stones and kittens for Christmas. The kidney stones have passed, painlessly, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY! The kittens are adult. We are coming up to almost a year of being a 2 feline household. The antics they play are often hysterical.

Last week, I was using a headset on our home phone to make some business calls. I remember leaving the headset and phone at the eating counter off the kitchen. During the week, I put the phone back in its charger. But last night, I wanted to use the headset again to make calls. I went to the counter and I didn’t find it. I searched high and low, twice. I scratched my head three times. Where the hell . . . ?

I told my daughter, I thought the cats had stolen my headset. She laughed. What would the cats do with the telephone headset? I scratched my head again.

Two hours later, my daughter reports she has found the headset under her dresser in her bedroom.

Damn CATS!!!!

ciao, Pete