“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” Dr. Spock

They are just words…groups of letters put together to form a thing, a person, a place, an action, a description. A word by itself may be as simple as a spot on a page. Yet combined with other words, spoken into the air around or written/typed can be powerful beyond belief.
The big word for me lately has been trust. I was working with someone recently who said “Well that’s what I am hoping.” Out of my mouth came the words, “No you must stop hoping for it to happen, and trust that it will happen.”
So what is the difference?
The Merriam-Webster dictionary (www.merriam-webster.com) defines hope as “to cherish a desire with anticipation”. By cherishing this desire, we hold on to it. It goes along with wishes and dreams, and becomes something that might happen…if we are lucky.
Trust, in the same dictionary is defined as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something”. By trusting, we are letting go and allowing something or someone else to bring it forward. There is a faith, a knowing, not that it might happen, but that it will happen.
From past experiences, I have found that hoping took a lot of energy. It was always with me, like a please, please, please feeling in the pit of my stomach. Trusting, on the other hand, allows me to detach, let go and attempt to feel nothing while the process unfolds.
Is it OK to have hopes, wishes and dreams? You bet it is! But it is even better to allow trust to take over and let them flow into our lives when and if they are meant to be.
Hard to do…but a lot easier on the old stomach!

“Life is an onion and one peels it crying.” French Proverb

“Live est un oignon et un peeling en pleurant.” Proverbe français

“Life is an onion and one peels it crying.” French Proverb

This proverb jumped out at me again today. My onion is definitely peeling! When I am sad, I cry. When I am mad, I cry. When I am lonely, I sometimes cry. When I sense someone else’s dis-ease, I cry. When I am really happy about something, I cry. When I find something really funny, I laugh til I am crying. And sometimes…I don’t know why…but I just cry. It is a good thing that I am living by myself these days, because my onion is definitely peeling.

I used to be so stoic. Iiti did not want to waste time crying. I just did something to get over the sensation and moved away from it. I kept myself busy. I believed that it made me strong! It took a lot to get me to cry…and heaven forbid if someone happened to see me cry! I realize now that I was stuffing a lot inside of me. My onion was growing, and the outer peels got pretty tough.

It took a long time and a lot of self-study to feel OK with shedding a tear or two…or two thousand. I decided that if three-quarters of the world is water, and two-thirds of the human body is water, it is just fine to let go of a bit of mine. A total release occurs: physical, emotional, spiritual. It might not change a situation, but something about my perception of the situation changes. It just makes me feel different. Sometimes that different may only be exhausted and re-eyed, but that’s OK. It leads to a good sleep, and things always seem brighter after a good sleep.

Of course, I still prefer to do my crying alone (or as the old song says “in the rain”) so no one can see. Most of the time I choose an appropriate time and place for it. But I have stopped stuffing it down and keeping it deep and tight inside. Crying is a necessity: a natural part of our development in this life.

I am sure that this time of crying a lot will pass, as I move forward on my path. I also am sure that there will be more times of tears. I am OK with that, and accept it in others. And if the urge to cry is there and the tears just don’t come…I will just peel some onions.

© Linda Zeppa www.intuwriting.com
This blog is a version of a post from August 2011. Venus, retrograde and transiting in all of its glory, is working its magic on me. I am sure that I am not alone, as we are guided to use our emotions, creativity and intuition to release and gently move forward, setting up for a peaceful revolution.

Do the Locomotion!

I was a substitute teacher in a first grade classroom last week for a few days. I have been in this classroom several times this year. As with most groups of six and seven year olds, this group is full- twenty individual whirling balls of energy quick to speak out, complain, state their case and move at their own pace, be it fast or slow.

It is always a struggle at the end of the day to get kids to clean up the classroom, pack up their things and be ready to leave on time (especially for those darn buses). Here is my trick. I put fun music on and challenge them. How many songs will it take to be done and ready to leave? I suggest that they can do it in one song, but one and a half is the usual. Then we have time before they rush out the door for a game or a story.

On this particular day, I put on the song “Locomotion” and they headed off to get things done. There was a happy buzz in the room. One has to accept noise when kids are dancing around getting things done quickly. One little guy, usually pokey and rather glum, joined me at the front of the room before Locomotion was over. “I love this song!” he gushed as his little body swayed and moved around me. Being the skeptical teacher, I glanced over at his table. His place was spotless, organized and his backpack was neatly placed under the table as requested. When the song was over, most of the kids had joined us. “Do it again!” they begged excitedly. So I put Locomotion on again and the dancing resumed. Four of the girls made a train, then a few of the boys joined on. I took the hands of the girl at the front and started moving them around the room. Before I knew it, every child in the room was part of the train, dancing individually yet moving together as one long co-operative train. It was very noisy, but I recognized that it was a busy involved noise and resisted the adult urge to tone it down. Towards the end of the song, I led them into one big circle at the front of the room. When the song was over, they all sat quietly with beautiful little smiles where they had stopped at the end of the song looking up at me expectantly. It was almost silent in the room. They were ready to play my “Silent Ball” game…and they were ready to be out the door on time!

The experience blew me away; I had forgotten how much there is to learn from children and how good it feels to allow ourselves some freedom. We cannot constantly be in a quiet subdued serious space. There are times when the need to move and sing and rock and roll just must to take over. Allow it…then the quiet times are much more appreciated and effective. Experiences like this are so needed in our classrooms today…and