Life is Precious. Life is Precarious. Life is Playful.
It’s never easy saying goodbye to someone. Funerals are rarely funny.
This story and post is based on a true experience shared with me today during coffee social post my weekly spiritual experience at Unity of Bellevue. I dedicate this post to Trudy Wilson (who is not the one who had died…just to be clear. She is my source and a lovely soul!)
I find myself sitting at a table where I had sat down to collect an email address from someone I promised to send some information. That was what put me where I was with a small plate of deviled eggs and berries and a cup of coffee. I didn’t anticipate sitting there long, but the Universe had other plans for me.
I knew no one else at the table, but after a Rev.Nancy Worth “lesson” we are all friendly while we nibble on bite sized pieces of donuts and sweet loaf breads and mixed nuts. (That is what we are, aren’t we, mixed nuts going to “church” or “temple” or “yoga” or “the gym.” Pick your variety of spirituality, it’s all good!)
How Trudy and I got from saying hello to her sharing her recent funeral experience is not as important as the fact, our dialogue took us there.
The sad part of the story. The beautiful soul no longer with us in body, was the child and son of a woman, who had died of cancer not two months before her son chose to end his own physical existence. Yes, “suicide” happens whether we like it or not. What takes courage? Living or checking out? (Different and equally challenging blog post to “pen.”) He had apparently even told his mother that life was so much to manage. He was a sensitive soul that Trudy had known since childhood. Since he’d moved to a province farther afield in Canada than British Columbia, Trudy no longer saw him at holidays.She knew his mother and sister and that kept her current on “D’s” life.
Trudy was in Canada attending D’s funeral this time, and determined to support the family again.
Someone was responsible for bringing the items of personal significance to the church for the alter. Flowers and family photos of mom and children at various ages were in the bag that Trudy saw in the back seat of the driver’s new Jeep. The service was taking place at a church on Vancouver Island before the ceremony at the cemetery to honor D. That driver was shall we say, a speed demon.
The Jeep was barreling along a road when it hit a speed bump. If you have ever been in a Jeep you know how rough a ride they can be; comparable to Hummers actually. The Jeep and it’s occupants arrived at the church to find something missing. The bag in the back seat. That Speed Bump! One of the back jeep doors had apparently flown open and the bag had escaped! The driver determined what must have been the moment it happened! They circled back to the spot and found the flowers by the side of the road but alas no bag with pictures. Okay, weird, but what can you say. What happened, happened.
D’s sister pulled the presenting minister aside and whispered in his ear, “We have a small problem.” This was shared at the end of the church service and prior to people heading to the final resting place.
Apparently, D’s ashes had been in a wooden box in that bag of pictures and flowers. Like I said, weird, but okay, as reported to this “Witness and Listener.”
At the grave site, people tossed roses into the hole that had been dug for the box of ashes. It was about the ritual of saying a proper and honorable goodbye at that point. But, D had a sense of humor in my opinion. Or someone did and in the end the message left might read like this: “I am not as gone as you think me. And can you find the humor in this moment.”
Trudy said D would be laughing if he was there to share the story himself. She prefers to remember that he was bright and sensitive and appreciated odd humor.
A couple of messages were received by me as I listened to this story, earlier today.
1. Life is Precious. Never miss an opportunity to say to someone you care for that you do.
2. Life is Precarious. Sometimes we lose things in surprising ways and how we respond to that loss is what matters the most.
3. Life is Playful. Humor, even when it is black, is present and available if we remain open to finding the humor in any situation.
And what if, just what if, it is the Universe’s not so gentle way of saying, “Hey, you, dopey, sleepyhead, buried your head in the sand, looking for a scapegoat, choosing to be unaware and missing the precious opportunity before you, YEAH YOU, please, stop, regroup, see all that could be, if you would say yes to courage and love and adventure and risk and opening up and asking for even more support than you already do.
I’d give you as much as you asked for. And there may be times I attempt to wake you from your self-delusional pattern. Why? Because, I want you to be happy.
Deborah Drake – Authentic Writing Provokes
P.S. Just in case it isn’t clear to you: Life is Precious. Life is Precarious. Life is Playful. Ask for help when you need it and be glad for the people who bug you because they care.