Dissolving a Marriage – At Mid-Life and Beyond

When I meet people and tell them that I am a divorce lawyer, I often get comments something like: “We have been married for over 20 years; I guess we will never need your services.” Or, “We’ve been married so long, there’d be no point breaking up. Divorce is something the younger folks do.” Your children’s special events will truly be special despite their parent’s divorce. You owe it to them. Many of my clients have been married 20 to 30 years and even more. A significant amount are over 50 and I have even had clients over 70. The mid life and beyond divorce is not as unusual as one may think.

Privacy and Respect are important values to mature couples.

Most couples seeking to end their marriage do want to with a minimum of rancor maintaining some dignity and respect for each other. But for the mature couple, who has witnessed friends and family turn their lives upside down both emotionally and financially through expensive litigated divorces, this is even more important. They have worked hard to build an estate and are not interested in wasting their assets on a financially draining process. A 2008 issue of Consumer Reports points out that one of the most expensive money mistakes a person can make is “Launching a Divorce War”. This ranks as number three in the publications list of 12 biggest money mistakes.
To avoid the divorce war, mature couples are looking for solutions preserving their privacy, dividing their assets according to their individual needs and minimization of the emotional trauma that comes from closing the door on a relationship and lifestyle that has weathered many years.

There are alternatives to litigating a divorce

The legal community has recognized the need for non-adversarial divorce, especially for couples who have been married for a longer period of time, and have accumulated a variety of assets including real estate and retirement plans. Today, a group of attorneys are now active in collaborative law, divorce mediation, cooperative divorce and some are even available to help a couple in a so-called “kitchen table” divorce where the couple does most of the negotiations themselves. An on-line search at A Respectful Divorce collaborative law sight provides many resources and several resources are also available on my web site.

Divorce is a normal life transition

Although divorce is sad at any juncture in life, it is especially important for long term couples ending their marriage to put it in perspective. As Tim Jenkins, a family therapist in Redmond, Washington points out “The success or failure of a marriage should not be judged upon whether it ends or continues “until death do us part.” It might be better judged on how much growth it has afforded us as conscious human beings striving to connect intimately. There is nothing abnormal or blameworthy about divorce. It is to be expected. If we can help people to use this normal life transition to launch into new and richer living then we will be doing a far better service than trying to maintain relationships that don’t serve or brutally severing relationships that must end through litigation.”

When you need an experienced divorce attorney in Kirkland, Bellevue, and the Greater Eastside contact Karin Quirk

Karin Quirk, Attorney at Law
5400 Carillon Point
Kirkland, WA 98033
email: Karin@KarinQuirk.com
website: divorceforgrownups.net
Facebook: facebook.com/CooperativeDivorce
Linkedin: linkedin.com/karinquirk
Twitter: twitter.com/karinquirk
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sdsvg28ZOM

Karin Quirk, Attorney at Law represents clients throughout the greater Eastside (King County, Washington State), including Kirkland, Bellevue, Bothell, Redmond, Woodinville, and Sammamish.

 

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About KarinQ

Karin Quirk, Attorney at Law located in Kirkland, Washington empowers couples to divorce or dissolve partnerships in a respectful cooperative manner. As a seasoned divorce attorney, Karin has seen the emotional trauma, expense and bitterness created by traditional divorce litigation. She believes that through a cooperative divorce process couples can feel empowered to resolve their differences in a respectful manner, while protecting their children from the trauma of court and custody battles, and better preparing themselves to begin a new life.

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